Hardship and Friends

While normally, I feel that I am on point and on target with projects and life, this past year has been a complete turn around for me.

There have been a series of unchained events that begun late December, of which I feel have affected me greatly and have impacted my balance thus shifting and drifting my family apart, my personal relationships, my career goals and my stability in every single possible way. At this point in my life, while trying to recuperate from the consequences of the aforementioned chain of events, I feel as if I am struggling to find myself again. I feel I forgot who I am (was), and I am having a difficult time finding and recognizing my personal values. My battle with depression continues to be an uphill struggle and while I am taking steps to recover, this process at times looks impossible to me.

Prior to late 2015, I felt that I was an excellent example to those around me, including my children. People would look up to me at school, friends would reach out for an educated word of advice and life smiled in general.  I have always placed emphasis on the value of being humble. I used to make it a point to do random acts of kindness and to share what I lacked with those who were in a difficult situation as well. Today as I stand, I feel as if I have almost forgotten that part of me and there is a deep desire to having that back along with my very own personal values.

I grew up in a Catholic family environment and I was raised with very strict standards to adhere to. My family is originally from Colombia, South America, it is mainly composed of two sisters, and my parents. My grandmother who raised me, passed away last year on June 3rd. I did not have the privilege of getting to know my birth mother nor of meeting my oldest but now deceased brother Adrian.

While childhood was difficult and harsh, I have always had a great sense of respect for my parents. I consider them followers of ethical absolutism although lately I have felt that to be more the case for my father than my mother. My father remarried when I was very young, and his wife (whom I call mother), has been a perfect example of a good woman, mother and friend to me.

While I do not agree with absolutism, I do feel that many of the morals that my family adheres to, are reasonable, true and exemplary, however I feel like those same values are only applied when they feel they should be applied. For example, my family has always been very big on respect. They live by the motto: “do unto others as you wish others to do unto you.” A couple of months back, I received a phone call from my father. During the phone call, my father was extremely upset and rather than allowing me the opportunity to share my visions and reasons for the situation happening at the time; I felt as he judged and attacked me with words and criticism. Above all, I was shocked by a particular comment that felt like a stab to the heart. In this case, I did not feel like the respect moral, was applied within the parameters of ethical absolutism.

they may have unknowingly made when raising me. This was a process that took many years to develop and it entailed a lot of praying, counseling and forgiving. Although I feel that my father in particular continues to be unfair at times, my love for him continues to grow and I am hopeful that one day he will be able to let go of the emotional burdens and remorse’s that he continues to experience with me in particular.

While I find it impossible to understand 100% of someone’s life, I do feel that are several major impacting factors, that can greatly influence the standpoint of each individual. Understanding all of those intrinsic things, allow us to understand why people are unique and what makes them different, thus eliciting a better understanding for how certain individuals perceive life and “where they’re coming from.” Understanding where people are coming from, opens up many doors when crossing or interacting with a person. Some of the benefits of understanding another persons’ perspective are:

  • Elicits better communication and relationships
  • Elicits better relationships
  • Reduces the possibility of conflict
  • Improves listening and empathy skills
  • Trust is more likely to be gained
  • Broadening our own perspective
  • Achieving a more ethical pluralism and relativism approach
  • Evaluating our own perspective and moral standing

I also wanted to mention someone special who has helped me greatly throughout all of the last year’s struggles. Shawn with Richmond Limo Service has been my mentor and a father like figure for years. It was his idea to create this blog and he helped me get it off the ground.

I want to thank him and everyone reading this blog. I truly appreciate all of you guys.